they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
