I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
