i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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