While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My life is pants optional.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
