You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
vagina is talking i cant
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
