Dual....:-)
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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