Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
