Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
