Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
