I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
