You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
