they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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