Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
