He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize