found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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