Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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