Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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