He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think i have herpe
just one?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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