I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
