Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
