wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
