so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize