HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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