I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize