My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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