i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
