Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
