I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
