gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
