if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
