he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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