I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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