; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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