i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
