I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
