I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's just like the Real World with babies
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
