I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
