So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize