And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
