I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
