I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
