You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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