Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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