I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
