What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
this just has baby written all over it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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