Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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