I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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