You're so nebulous sometimes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This toilet bowl is my home.
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