I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
