I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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