I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
