My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
