i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
jump out the window naked night went bad
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
