YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
where are you?
Hypothermia
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize