I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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