Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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