on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
