okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
