I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
